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parenting advice #1056107
08/26/14 11:12 AM
08/26/14 11:12 AM

S
steelman OP
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steelman OP
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My youngest son who will be 6 next week is having trouble at school, we get phone calls almost daily from the school and the bus driver telling us how he is just more less bad, won't be quiet in class is disruptive, won't sit still on the bus etc.. he has been on Ritalin now for the last year and it's helped him to concentrate somewhat, he has ADHD.. if he is separated from other kids he is fine, it's like he just can't control himself when he gets around other kids and I don't know what else to do..we have tried to discipline him, spankings, timeout, no tv etc.. my other 2 get letters sent home from school saying how good they are doing, my daughter got one today for being the top reader in her class, she is 8... I'm at a dead end with the youngest, I've tried everything I can think of

Re: parenting advice [Re: ] #1056145
08/26/14 11:24 AM
08/26/14 11:24 AM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 13,690
Over yonder
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extreme heights hunter Offline
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extreme heights hunter  Offline
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Over yonder
remeber, you asked for it.

not saying this is your kids issue but in my professional opinion (<<sarcasm) Consistency is a huge issue. spankings, timeout, restriction and all of the other forms of punishment are a waste of time if you are not consistent. what i mean is, when little johnny is told 3 times to go clean his room, you cant get frustrated and say to hell with it. get up and make it happen. same thing with sit down and shut up, brush your teeth, no you can`t do that etc..........

Re: parenting advice [Re: ] #1056161
08/26/14 11:28 AM
08/26/14 11:28 AM
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 12,481
Pike County, AL
Fuzzy_Bunny Offline
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Fuzzy_Bunny  Offline
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Pike County, AL
Since the kid is already on meds, have you talked to his Dr?

Last edited by Fuzzy_Bunny; 08/26/14 11:29 AM.
Re: parenting advice [Re: extreme heights hunter] #1056164
08/26/14 11:33 AM
08/26/14 11:33 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,319
boaz
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hawgwild Offline
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boaz
Originally Posted By: extreme heights hunter
remeber, you asked for it.

not saying this is your kids issue but in my professional opinion (<<sarcasm) Consistency is a huge issue. spankings, timeout, restriction and all of the other forms of punishment are a waste of time if you are not consistent. what i mean is, when little johnny is told 3 times to go clean his room, you cant get frustrated and say to hell with it. get up and make it happen. same thing with sit down and shut up, brush your teeth, no you can`t do that etc..........
I agree with this 100%. My boys are not perfect by no means, but they know they will get that ass blistered if they get in trouble at school, on the bus, etc. We are very consitant with our discipline.

Re: parenting advice [Re: ] #1056173
08/26/14 11:40 AM
08/26/14 11:40 AM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 21,751
USA
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Remington270 Offline
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Remington270  Offline
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Boys and girls are totally different. Only thing we responded to was beatings.

Re: parenting advice [Re: ] #1056188
08/26/14 11:51 AM
08/26/14 11:51 AM
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 310
Mobile
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Delta Dave Offline
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Delta Dave  Offline
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Mobile
Different kids respond differently to punishments as well. You have to find something he cares about. With two of my boys, almost any punishment and they'll straighten up quickly. My youngest son however doesn't care if you take away games, desert, spank him, put him in time out, make him practice writing or reading for hours, duck tape him to the wall (joke), etc. However if Mimi comes by to take them out for ice cream or to go feed the ducks and he can't go because he's been bad, he'll cry for an hour. When she gets back she tells him he needs to be good so next time he can go with her and it makes all the difference in the world.

You just need to find something he cares about and take it away making sure he understands that it's because of his actions that he isn't getting what he wants.

I would like to add that I would never, as punishment, take away a stuffed animal from a young child if they are very strongly attached to it.

Re: parenting advice [Re: Remington270] #1056192
08/26/14 11:53 AM
08/26/14 11:53 AM

S
steelman OP
Unregistered
steelman OP
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S


Thanks for the advice, we are very consistent with him, and fuzzybunny he is goin to the Dr next week to see if he needs his meds upgraded...I really don't believe in the meds but doc and wife thought it would be best, maybe in a year or so he will grow out of it like his siblings did

Re: parenting advice [Re: ] #1056244
08/26/14 12:32 PM
08/26/14 12:32 PM
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 12,481
Pike County, AL
Fuzzy_Bunny Offline
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Fuzzy_Bunny  Offline
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Posts: 12,481
Pike County, AL
Originally Posted By: steelman
Thanks for the advice, we are very consistent with him, and fuzzybunny he is goin to the Dr next week to see if he needs his meds upgraded...I really don't believe in the meds but doc and wife thought it would be best, maybe in a year or so he will grow out of it like his siblings did


I never believed in meds either, but I have seen them help. They showed me that there is a difference between not giving a damn and just wanting to play, and not being able to focus on something even if you want to.

Re: parenting advice [Re: ] #1056272
08/26/14 12:58 PM
08/26/14 12:58 PM
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 8,670
NW Alabama
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R_H_Clark Offline
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R_H_Clark  Offline
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Joined: May 2012
Posts: 8,670
NW Alabama
Please read this
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answ...n-school-today/

And this may help too.
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articl...-have-adhd.aspx

At least get a second or third opinion and don't be bullied into drugging him unless he has a real problem. Way too much ADHD being diagnosed today.

Last edited by R_H_Clark; 08/26/14 01:02 PM.
Re: parenting advice [Re: ] #1056276
08/26/14 01:12 PM
08/26/14 01:12 PM
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 16,611
lat 34.09 long -86.13
metalmuncher Offline
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Not mentioned yet and I don't know if you have already tried it, but his diet can have a big influence in behavior with ADHD kids. Cutting back on sugar and caffeine may help a significant amount.

Re: parenting advice [Re: metalmuncher] #1056281
08/26/14 01:16 PM
08/26/14 01:16 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,992
pensacola,fl
dagwood Offline
10 point
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I hope you are talking to professionals and not just relying on advice from this forum.


jmlane
Re: parenting advice [Re: dagwood] #1056286
08/26/14 01:23 PM
08/26/14 01:23 PM
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 7,230
just south of the Tennesse riv...
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roadkill Offline
14 point
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just south of the Tennesse riv...
Boys are generally two years behind girls in development. He may not be ready for school yet.

Re: parenting advice [Re: dagwood] #1056288
08/26/14 01:25 PM
08/26/14 01:25 PM
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 12,481
Pike County, AL
Fuzzy_Bunny Offline
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Pike County, AL
Originally Posted By: dagwood
I hope you are talking to professionals and not just relying on advice from this forum.


rolleyes This place makes people smarter than staying in a Holiday Inn Exress.

Re: parenting advice [Re: dagwood] #1056292
08/26/14 01:29 PM
08/26/14 01:29 PM
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 8,670
NW Alabama
R
R_H_Clark Offline
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NW Alabama
Originally Posted By: dagwood
I hope you are talking to professionals and not just relying on advice from this forum.


Absolutely but not all professionals are equal, which is why I advise getting a second and third opinion and one of those needs to be from a professional who doesn't like to use drugs.

Re: parenting advice [Re: dagwood] #1056296
08/26/14 01:36 PM
08/26/14 01:36 PM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,319
boaz
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hawgwild Offline
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boaz
Originally Posted By: dagwood
I hope you are talking to professionals and not just relying on advice from this forum.
You don't think we're professionals laugh

Re: parenting advice [Re: ] #1056314
08/26/14 01:54 PM
08/26/14 01:54 PM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 24,761
Buc-ee’s Beach Express
leroycnbucks Offline
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I don't think we had ADHD back in the seventies when I was a kid. We were just kids being kids. When a doctor told us my daughter had it, I told him we would work through it and she wasn't going to take any kind of medicine. She grew up just fine. That was over fifteen years ago and I know times have changed but I would get several opinions before I medicated my child for being a child.


Proud Army and ALNG veteran
God Bless America!
Re: parenting advice [Re: leroycnbucks] #1056334
08/26/14 02:11 PM
08/26/14 02:11 PM
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
Boaz,Al,Mexican Paradise
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OcToBeRDrEaMiN67 Offline
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 4,317
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I agree 100% with leroy.I don't have any answer for your question because all kids are different and you raise them on an individual basis.Consistency is the key. I will say that.


Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation,whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life;of whom shall I be afraid?
Re: parenting advice [Re: ] #1056354
08/26/14 02:27 PM
08/26/14 02:27 PM
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 548
mobile,al
S
seachaser Offline
4 point
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mobile,al
ADHD is a serious issue. Our 11 yr old was diagnosed with it at 6 also. His medicine has been changed probably 5 times. He's very smart but has to take the medicine to knock the edge off. Reads above 12th grade level and is doing better as he gets older. Colbie call me if you want to talk about it.


Really?
Re: parenting advice [Re: leroycnbucks] #1056355
08/26/14 02:28 PM
08/26/14 02:28 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 39,377
Marshall County
FurFlyin Offline
Freak of Nature
FurFlyin  Offline
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Originally Posted By: leroycnbucks
I don't think we had ADHD back in the seventies when I was a kid. We were just kids being kids. When a doctor told us my daughter had it, I told him we would work through it and she wasn't going to take any kind of medicine. She grew up just fine. That was over fifteen years ago and I know times have changed but I would get several opinions before I medicated my child for being a child.


We didn't have a whole lot of the crap that we have now back in the 70's and 80's. I use to think that ADD and ADHD and all that stuff was just poor parenting but I've seen some kids who really had problems. I think it's exposure to medications and such that we didn't have when we were kids. I read somewhere (can't provide a link) that so many people are now taking anti-depressants that there are trace amounts in our drinking water. Reckon that would screw up a kid? (rhetorical question)


If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14
Re: parenting advice [Re: metalmuncher] #1056435
08/26/14 03:24 PM
08/26/14 03:24 PM
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,636
Florida Panhandle
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JTapia Offline
8 point
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Posts: 1,636
Florida Panhandle
Originally Posted By: metalmuncher
Not mentioned yet and I don't know if you have already tried it, but his diet can have a big influence in behavior with ADHD kids. Cutting back on sugar and caffeine may help a significant amount.


This is/was the problem with my son. Cut out sugar and he was a Teddy Bear. Dr said he was non diabetic hypoglycemic. For some unknown reason he didn't properly metabolize sugar. Because of the low blood sugar he would crave sugar. He would do anything including stealing and lying to get it and then he would become Hyperglycemic and lose his mind for a few hours and then crash causing another round of inability to concentrate.
Of course schools and teachers are not at all equipped to handle this since he is not clinically diabetic no special lunches could be made for him. Teachers reward good behavior with candy. We would show them the Dr. diagnosis and treatment recommendations of no refined sugar but they ignored that and gave him candy and then would call us to come and get him because he was uncontrollable. Had his third grade teacher tell us once that it was borderline child abuse to not allow him to have candy and be like "normal" kids!! We refused to come and get him after she said that and it was funny how fast she started using fruit as rewards instead of candy.

Symptoms Doc told us to look for and that we actually saw, when he is in "one of those moods", get him still and look into his eyes. If he is over sugared..they will be quivering. He'll be very thirsty all the time and then have to Pee every 15 minutes. We would ask him how to spell his entire name, first, middle and last and he would stumble, sometimes miss his entire middle name. When he crashes he'll be very irritable and impossible to get along with or to please. He'll do anything to get more sugar. He would fly into a rage when he didn't get his way or was being asked to settle down.
Hard not to tear his butt up but a few Orange wedges and he would be just fine. Like night and day.

He is a straight A student and is the model kid when you control his sugar intake. It was a battle and he is now 14 and has learned to monitor himself and is doin much better. It was a battle when he was younger...mainly with the teachers and staff at the school.

Last edited by JTapia; 08/26/14 03:38 PM.

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