WASHINGTON DC - The political world was rocked today by allegations revealed today in the Washington Inquisitor that President Barack Obama was seen “smoking crack” by a young girl on a White House tour.

“We were on the White House tour,” explained 2nd grader April Fuhlzjok from P.S. 420 in the Bronx, “when we went by the president’s office [the Oval Office]. The lady [tour guide] said we couldn’t visit the president because he was busy.”

But the little girl said the door to the office was slightly ajar. While the tour guide was distracted, young April peeked in the door. That’s when she says she saw the president, who quickly ran forward to shut the door when he was seen.

“I saw President Obama smoking crack! He had a blow torch and a big pipe thing and smoke was coming out of it,” April told the Inquisitor. When asked how she would know what crack smoking looked like, April’s mother explained that her estranged father was a crack addict and, unfortunately, April had been exposed to his drug use.

Reacting quickly to the unfolding scandal, which some have likened to the revelations of Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s crack smoking video, White House Deputy Press Secretary Josh Earnest told reporters in the West Wing there was no truth to the allegations of little April Fuhlzjok. “This little girl has clearly mistaken something she has seen,” Earnest began when, to everyone’s surprise, President Obama stepped out from the wings and motioned Earnest aside to deliver his bombshell remarks.

“Look, there has been some, well, speculation as to what this little girl has seen,” the president began. “But we’re not going to stand here and scapegoat a child over what she believes she’s seen.” Obama glared slightly at Earnest and continued.

“The simple fact is that I was smoking dabs -- which is just a popular term for smoking the concentrated oil from cannabis.” Obama motioned the shocked reporters to hold their questions. “I think since the legalization of marijuana in Washington and Colorado that we all need to be honest about our cannabis use. The fact is, I’ve been using cannabis off and on all my life, since the days of the Choom Gang.”

Obama went over the history of his marijuana use, how he once smoked joints and used cocaine, how he gave it up as he pursued political office, and how he has re-embraced his love of cannabis since becoming president. “People do not understand how stressful this job is,” Obama offered, “and how much cannabis has helped me deal with those pressures. Without my daily dab, we’d probably be at war in Syria now. Of course, there’s a time and place for everything -- maybe I shouldn’t have had that dab before the second debate with Mitt Romney.”

Obama also apologized for the way his use came to light. “I deeply regret that it took some young girl peeking through my office door for us to have this conversation. But sometimes it is through the innocent eyes of children that we come to realize the greatest truths. I assure you all, these cannabis concentrates are safe when used responsibly. They are simply cannabis itself, stripped of its plant material.”

The president then closed by acknowledging the hypocrisy of continuing to maintain marijuana prohibition despite his own use of marijuana. “Look, I’ve wanted to decriminalize marijuana since my days running for Senate. But I’ve had to learn the hard way that doing the right thing isn’t always the way Washington works. I had to twist arms just to get a modest health care reform done in a country that overwhelmingly supports Medicare-For-All. I can’t just wave a magic wand and legalize marijuana overnight.”

Now that we have a president who has admitted to not just smoking marijuana, but smoking concentrates, while in office, it would seem marijuana reform has been given its biggest boost since Michael Phelps won 20 gold medals. “From here on,” Obama said, “we are going to step up our support of the legalization regimes unfolding in Colorado and Washington, and soon hopefully in Alaska and Oregon. Now if you’ll all excuse me, it’s 7:10 and I have important to work to catch up on.” With that, Obama left to the sounds of reporters shouting questions.

And if you don't know what "dabs" are

http://animalnewyork.com/2013/dabs-the-worlds-most-powerful-and-sought-after-weed-product/

I'm having a hard time believeing this story is real, although it woldn't surpise me at all.

That article was published by high times on april fools day

The State of Alabama doesn't make money off of pot being illegal. Most people don't even get ordered to pay fines and the court cost are not even enough to cover the actual cost of the prosecution.

Is the prosecution paid on a case by case basis or by salary?

Assistant District Attorneys are paid a salary whether they are full time or part time regardless of case load. Most municipal prosecutors are paid a flat salary as well. I'm not aware of any prosecutors paid in any other way. Court appointed defense counsel can fall into a number of categories depending upon the indigent defense plan adopted in that Circuit. We have a contract and our defense attorneys are paid a flat annual fee regardless of how many cases they handle. They have a separate practice and handle various other matters in addition to criminal defense. Some circuits use the appointment method wherein attorneys are appointed to represent a particular defendant and then they submit a fee declaration for the representation of that person on that charge. Larger Circuits may have a public defenders office whose attorneys only handle indigent defense cases. This of course does not include retained attorneys who are paid by their client.

fine,probation fee, spectracare classes ($600-$1000) $200 to get driver licenses back,not to mention confiscations, for first time misdemenor offense. 2nd offense, felony. sure there on salary, but this justifies more money throwed at the problem,( tax money ) so it isnt like what they save is profit. They gotta get the money flowing in order access it. Now all this drives the price up. So you got big money in pay offs. I hope nobody here is foolish enough to believe its illegal cause the gov cares. Talk about a stimulus package. They got pot classafied as more of a risk than coke and herion. Somebodys gotta fill the courtroom and jails, to justify all that money changing hands. BIG business keeping us safe.

They are paid salary. But, Pot cases mean more cases, means more prosecutors, more people in the clerks office, more probation officers, more paperwork, more drug testing, more lab testing of drugs (which is currently running over a year in Alabama), more fees being paid to court appointed defense attorneys or public defender groups, etc. Court cost are a few hundred dollars.

Say someone gets $300 court cost. That goes to the Clerk's Office. $50 to the Alabama Crime victims compensation fund. That goes to help pay restitution for victims of crime. $100 to the Alabama Department of Forensic Sciences. You think all the testing they do doesn't cost more than that? Then if they get a fine, say $1000. Most never pay it. Others get it retaxed to the state if they complete a drug treatment program. The few that actually pay it is a very small amount.

The court can not put you in prison for failure to pay a fine if you show you can't afford to pay it. So, most people never pay any of the money.

Also, under the new presumptive sentencing guidelines in the State of Alabama, people are not being sent to prison for drug possession cases unless they have a number of priors.

Im going to tell you like it is, my brother has lung cancer and the kemo almost killed him, the only thing that helped was marijuana, I got him some from a person I knew, at first he didn't want to smoke it. After a bad round of kemo he tried it and the sickness was manageable.

I don't think anybody is saying the government is making money by busting drug users, the whole war on drugs is run on tax dollars and that is where it is worth more to be illegal than legal. You have to spend all your tax money in the budget for the year or you won't get as much next year.

I think Portugal has no illegal illicit drugs and they have a much lower drug abuse problem

Demographics have got to factor into that

It needs to be legal at LEAST by a prescription for the people that it could help. There is no reason in the world that oxycotin and many other man made drugs that will kill you dead are available at a pharmacy, but not pot. $$$ has alot to do with it, big pharmaceutical. I think alot of the people that are in charge of changing laws have grown up and see that marijuana is not the devil like all the propaganda of the older days and thats why were starting to see some changes.

There's a lot of reason it's illegal, but really not one of them is very good. I'd buy stock in Philip Morris or any other cigarette company if it looked like the Feds were going to leave it up to the states to make it legal or not. While that's how I think it should be anyway, the states decision, the big companies won't sit on the sideline much longer. If Colorado and Washington can prove legalization works then you'll see it next to the cigarettes sooner or later. Once the tobacco lobby puts their weight behind it Congress will comply.. I'm sure they already have a business plan to manufacture and market it when the time comes..

One other issue to look at are the people who are currently serving time for something that might be made legal. Just something to discuss.

I would like to see it legal. Regulated like alcohol I would see no problem with it. I would rather be around a bunch of high people than drunk people, I've never had a buddy smoking pot want to fight, scream and cuss, or be abusive to anyone. Can't say the same for alcohol. I think it would be interesting if marijuana were to be grown in large scale agriculture. I work for a consultant checking beans, corn, wheat, and cotton. I can only imagine checking marijuana fields all day.. Haha. And keeping people from stealing the crop when buds start getting right.. Etc etc.

Filters are for p***y's