dumbest things you have seen hunters do

I was guiding a fella for the Wilcox Academy turkey hunt one year. We found a bird on Roy Bonners place at Dixon Creek, across the backwater. When he came he landed in a tree 100 yards away for a minute then pitched down maybe 25 yards away in open woods. I erred in placing the fella out of arms reach. I told him to shoot. Bird semi strutted. I said shoot. Nothing. I said shoot louder. Nothing. He had the damn gun up but no shooting. I yelped, bird strutted and gobbled, I YELLED shoot. Bird came out of strut and stuck his neck up. Perfect, except ol deadeye decided to stand before he shot. Bird was 100 yards away and climbing before he COULD of shot. I asked him why he didn't shoot...he said he forgot!!!!

I was standing on a ridge in a cutover watching dogs run a buck back in the 80's. There was a guy a few hundred yards from me in the flat and I knew the dogs was gonna take the deer right to him. He was standing there with his rifle barrel on his foot listening to the dogs get closer to him and the deer popped out in the skid road he was in. I heard him scream almost as soon as he pulled the trigger. Blew his big toe off at the foot and peeled the one beside it like a banana. His whole foot was black from the concussion .

Gonna be stupid you better be tough!

I called a bird up for a fella one day on a high ridge. The bird came in behind a big log on the ground and stopped at twenty yards looking over the log. You could see him from the beard up. I told him to shoot. Said it again. No shot. Bird got nervous and walked back the way he had come. I asked why he didn't shoot. He said all he could see was his head and neck. I asked was he wanting to shoot him in the ass????????

Pretty much everything I did this past turkey season would qualify for this thread.

Not sure we could call him a “hunter” at the time but he was with our party. Thanksgiving holidays and I had cousins come down to the country from Bham. We were all 10-13 years old. My dad carried us in the woods, he carried the only gun since my city cousins weren’t qualified. Was embarrassing to me since I had been “qualified” for several years, but dad explained it to me. One cousin, Pierre, had a new scout knife . He could hardly keep it in the scabbard, throwing it at trees, stumps, etc. we came upon a bloated dead cow......Pierre was dragging behind and we suddenly heard him screaming....yep...he did it...threw that knive into that bloated dead cow! Dad made him retrieve it and then walk welllll behind us until we got home. Generally we took group baths, sharing the tub....nobody shared with Pierre!

I could just tell the dumb things I've done. Everything from hunting one that was in a pen to actually killing the neighbors pet turkey. But in my defense but of those turkeys gobbled really good.

guided a guy from Florida one time. Slow morning, finally heard a bird way off. We were sitting with him beside me. He had said the bird was not coming a couple of times, I said wait. I finally saw the bird maybe 30 yards out, coming at a fast walk. I opened my mouth to tell him when he turned his head and said in a LOUD voice "he ain't coming, we might as well go eat"....no chitt he ain't coming, not now. He never saw the bird.

Anybody know a Ricky Malloy?

I was guiding one of my idiot brothers one morning and we set up on a bird near a large opening. I called to him and he pitched out of the tree and glided to within 100 yards of us. He hit the ground running towards us. Brother shot when the bird was 50-60 yards out and coming fast. He turned on a dime and flew the other way. Just damnittman. That bird was impossible to kill after that too.

was guiding a customer one time and had a rough time locating a bird the first day, on the second day I finally found a bird for the guy and withing 45 mins he was standing behind the man drumming at 10 yards. Finally after what felt like forever, the bird strutted to the left of the hunter, who I thought knew the bird was there because he had been drumming behind him for roughly 10 minutes. As the bird starts to make his way out in front of the customer, the man rolls over onto his knees and starts taking a piss as the turkey runs off putting. Frustrated as I could be walking up to the hunter, my head almost exploded when he turned to look at me and I realized he had ear plugs in and couldn't hear a thing

Dumbest thing I've seen has happened over and over and over. A turkey is gobbling every 15 seconds on his own and some idiot starts blowing either a crow call or an owl hooter at him. The turkey is red hot, so he gobbles at him every time for a few minutes. But the turkey will always eventually get wise to it, stop gobbling, and leave the country.

Why in hades to people keep blowing a locator call at a turkey that is already gobbling every breath? Do they think the turkey is gonna come to a crow call just because he gobbles at it? Such people need to have a pit bull sent after them.

Troy, I would just give up on guiding if I'd had that many bad experiences. I've decided I'm just a bad guide and need to quit doing it. The best hunt I had this past season was in mid-afternoon one day towards the end of the season. We spotted a gobbler in a small field, so we went to another field a couple hundred yards away and I set us up. I don't think I've ever had a plan to work so perfectly. I called to him softly and had him completely fooled, and he came in to 20 yards and looked us over for probably 20 seconds, decided he didn't like something, and did a 90 and started away. I literally yelled at my hunter to shoot, and he did and missed.

Turned out the rear sight on his gun had slipped loose and he shot way under the turkey. He said later he couldn't see him good when he was standing there, but it was nothing but leaves between them and he was shooting 3.5" TSS nuclear bombs. I should have set him up in the wide open; at 20 yards he might have killed him even with the gun off.

All this rain is giving me cabin fever.

I bet I have guided well over 200 folks turkey hunting, always enjoyed it. I learned early to keep the dudes at arms length or closer so you could slap em.

I called a bird up on morning and when the bird stood for several minutes in the open at 20 yards with any shots fired I softly said shoot. Then I cut LOUDLY at the bird and he shock gobbled as I YELLED shoot. Still went home empty.

funniest ever was a doctor from NC that I guided for Stagshead Lodge in Greene Co under Wayne Fears. The doc had scouted on his own the afternoon before and found a "flock" of gobblers that gobbled at fly up. They were roosted right on the edge of a 1 acre greenfield. Wayne and I agreed it was prolly a bunch of jakes, but Wayne said to take him to them. At daylight we were set up a couple of steps off the field in some honeysuckle. The birds gobbled good and pitched down into the field at my calling, but down the field and out of sight around a small curve. I called and here they came single file. I told the doc to aim at a big ant hill 20 yards out in the field. When the lead bird got within a few feet of the ant hill I told him to shoot. He did. dead bird.

He asked why I made him aim at the ant hill.

Now most experienced hunters know a bird won't walk close by the cover, but a few yards out in the field...kinda like where the ant hill was. I also knew I wasn't going to guide this fella the next day when he hunted with another guide from Pickens Co.

Soooo...I told him I MADE those birds go to the ant hill by my calling...that a REAL master turkey hunter could make any bird go to anywhere he wanted that bird to go. Kinda like Minnesota Fats controlling the cue ball.

Next day the other guide called a bird to the property line fence where the bird hung up and wouldn't budge. Doc proceeded to tell his guide that Troy would of made that gobbler come like on a string!!!!!!!

The Pickens Co fella didn't see the humor in what I had done....

This one is on myself. I got permission from a guy I worked with to come hunt his small piece of land. He said it had quite a few turkeys come and go. I got there at daylight and setup. At first light I hear one let loose to the north. I moved to him as far as I could without getting off his property and setup. He was about 200 yds away. I called he'd answer, call and he'd answer.. I got quiet and he gobbled eventually so I replied. This went on for about 2 hours. Finally he shut up and I sat there for another hour just in case. I figured it was over so I get my stuff and head over to my buddies house to let him know I was leaving and what happened. After I told him about the bird, he fell over laughing. He said that's my neighbor he's got one in a pen up there. I hung my head and left.

poach on some Gulf States land.

The dumbest thing I've seen turkey hunters doing is riding a 4wheeler and blowing on a stupid owl hooter.

or some one in a loud diesel truck ripping down the road stopping owl calling a couple of times then jump back in the loud truck hauling azz to the next pull in, national forest hunters or wanna be hunters

Not turkey hunting but years ago while in college I agreed to teach a buddy what I knew about bow hunting.After getting him proficient with his Whitetail II,we headed to the National Forest one afternoon to see if I could put him on a deer,Got our stuff out and situated and headed out down a creek-bottom.After a few yards of walking,I remembered my bottle of fox urine I used as cover scent. Not really thinking,I handed him the bottle first and bent down to pick up a a white oak acorn to show him.When I looked up he was pouring it in his hands and wiping it on his neck like cologne...

There’s not enough bandwidth

Exactly!
Or some dumbass with straight pipes.
That pisses me off bad enough to shoot some asshat.

That turkey is smart too. He deals with that crap daily. Give him 20 min and he will go back to doing what turkeys do.

Blow on a gunt call hard for 30 miutes straight. And what I mean by hard is the only way I believe it could be replicated is to pretend you're blowing a goose call. Any of yall that have used a goose call will know what I mean.

My brother-in-law, rest his soul, wanted me to come call for him one morning. He only had 8 acres, but swore turkeys roosted on it every day. We got there well before daylight. Turkey gobbled one ridge over. I sat him out in front of me and started my daylight regime with my cap doing a fly down. He gobbled his head off and pitched down 70 yards in front of us. He strutted back and forth, slowly gaining ground closer to us. He was taking his time so I scratched in the leaves. Just as I did my b-i-l stood up and the gobbler flew off. I asked him what he thought he was doing. He said “I was gonna make something happen”. I told him YOU DID! I didn’t speak to him for a week.

Dumbest thing I’ve seen a turkey hunter do, is brag to anyone who would listen that he killed 10 birds in one season. He wasn’t a real smart guy.

Maybe he wanted to make history. Nobody has ever been prosecuted for exceeding the AL season limit, so perhaps he was on a quest. It would probably lead to a book deal and his own reality show in our crazy world we have now.

had a Pickens Co legend tell me he killed 40 one season. I believed him.

I do my best to avoid other people as much as possible, particularly on public land, so I don't have any outrageous stories. Have seen the typical "tearing down a Nat'l Forest road, stop, roll windows down and blow owl/crow call or hit a box call, wait 10 seconds, drive on down the road"....also heard a couple of hunters walking through the woods talking loudly (I could hear them from 200yds away), all the while a hen was putting and [lightly] yelping close by, but in the other direction. Of course, they ran her off and never knew she was there (along with whatever may have been with her or coming to her)...

Oh Hell......how could I forget the one true idiot I ran into on public land a few years ago....think I've told this story before, but I nearly [unintentionally] shot a guy a few years ago.

Last day of the season....had a couple of jakes in front of me. I was frustrated - at this point I'd been turkey hunting a few years and never even SEEN a male turkey with my own eyes.....so, enter these 2 jakes at what I thought, at the time, was 50ish yards. I figured "What the hell, I'm shooting the damn thing", so I shot at one of them and missed. They take off flying, about head-high off the ground, so I take a hail Mary shot at them and whiff again, and they fly off into the next county.

A couple of seconds after my second shot, I see a man pop out from behind the corner of a grown-up hedgerow, RIGHT WHERE I'D JUST SHOT. Dude is wearing all tan/brown clothes except for a faded orange cap, and he's carrying a camera on a tripod over his shoulder. I jumped up from my spot and jogged out to him and he's white as a ghost. I said "What the hell are you doing?!" He said something to the effect of, "well I like to walk around in the woods and take pictures of flowers and birds and stuff." I said "you nearly got your ass shot!" He said "It never occurred to me people would be out here hunting" (on a WMA...during turkey season....and he'd parked within eyesight of my truck)....

He said he never saw me (obviously, b/c I was full-camo'd and hiding in some cover) and didn't see the turkeys. Turns out, he was standing about 10yds directly behind/beside them when I shot, but couldn't see them due to the grass/hedgerow between him and the turkeys. He said when the first shot went off, it peppered a tree beside him and he thought he was being shot AT. Then he saw the birds fly up and heard the 2nd shot, which he says made all the grass a few feet away from him lay over, and realized at least whoever was shooting, wasn't shooting at him but the turkeys.

I suggested he take note of hunting seasons, and not walk around a WMA, in earth-tone clothing, during hunting season in the future.

Saw 2 hunters still hunting through a swamp one time early season. No leaves on the cypress, just green grass and the two hunters moving 70 yards apart like they were actors in a Vietnam movie. Just sat there and watched them go by. You could see a hundred plus yards in any direction.

Too many to type but this one was funny as heck. Took a buddy bow hunting back when the tree lounge first came out and he had bought one. Now ole Bubba was every bit of a 130 pounds soaking wet and this tree lounge was as big as him. He’d lay it down on the ground then lay on top of it and situate the straps and then kick his legs up to get some momentum to sit up, funny to watch. Well this particular morning he messed up and pointed his head downhill and for about 5 minutes he looked like a turtle on his back. I was on the ground in tears laughing so hard at him.

Was hunting some public ground near the confluence of the Tombigbee and Black Warrior rivers with some of my buddies. We had parked the boat about 2 miles up the Tombigbee and scattered. The plan was to meet at the boat about 10:00 and head in for breakfast. Was a beautiful crisp October morning and the white oaks were raining acorns. Deer were on their feet and I had several in bow range. The only downside was the near constant buzz of the unofficial state bird. Mosquitos were everywhere and I had doused myself with DEET. Was comfortable up in the tree and the deer were quite comfortable upwind eating acorns. I was waiting on a buck but was covered up with big does. After a while with no buck sighting my mind turned to grilled backstraps and started to seriously consider shooting a big doe that was Hoovering groceries at 15 steps. No sooner had the thought crossed my mind and the woods exploded. White tails scattered in every direction along with the trademark snorting.

I was rechecking the wind when the source of the commotion came trudging up the riverbank. It was still prime time so a hunter with bow in hand and stand on his back was not expected. I whistled to let him know I was there and he marched to the base of my tree. Guy asked "have you seen my boat?" No I answered we got here way before daylight. He then stated "it must have been stolen" and wanted to know if we would take him back to the ramp. He had been walking back and forth upriver for most of the morning because he had forgotten his OFF and couldn't stand the mosquitoes. I dropped him an extra bottle from my pack.

Looking at the clouds of insects surrounding his head and the bite marks and scratches from wondering, I started to have some pity for him even after messing up my hunt. So I asked where he parked the boat. HIs answer was just a little bit up the river from where the rivers joined but he had walked upstream since daylight and know he didn't walk past it. I told him he was at least 2 miles up the Tombigbee and saw his expression change. He admitted he parked his boat on the Black Warrior. He has spent 2 hours walking upstream of the wrong river. I offered to ride him back to his boat but he thanked me and started back downstream. No compass, no map and honestly no clue.

Wow that suuuuuuuuucks.

he's prolly still wandering around lost as all hell.....

Did
that “legend”get a ticket B’hamFred?

no, I had no proof he had done it other than him saying it, but he was dang sure capable of it. I think he killed 25 the year I was talking to him, said he had a slow year.

During gun season had a member of our hunting club to come flying in at my house ( I was Prez and close to club).He said he pulled into the clubhouse which was on the rural blacktop and two members were busily packing their stuff, appeared in a hurry and scratched off out of the parking area. He had noticed a pickup with hunters about 150 yards parked down the road but thought nothing of it until they came on up to the clubhouse and said they had found one of their dogs shot on the highway, they were about a mile away with their tracking device and had heard a shot in our direction. My member put it all together and asked them to wait there while he came and got me.When I got there, there were two pickups of hunters, very unset ! I convinced them we would get to the bottom of it and to give me a few days. This was on a Saturday so we had an emergency board meeting that nite. We were pretty sure we knew what had happenned and started calling our “suspect” who was not answering but I was able to leave messages. Got a call from him the next day and he confessed. Their dogs had come through on him and hung around all morning long. When he passed the dog, he got out of the truck and shot him from the clubhouse, had no idea he had a tracking collar on him. The other club pulled up to the dog minutes later and he and his buddy were gettin out of Dodge when the other member pulled up, and they left him there to face the repercussions! I convinced him he was going to have to man up and pay up. This guy had been a dedicated member for several years and always went above and beyond time and money. We arranged a “sit down” with our board and the other clubs “board” the dog owner and the shooter. I also arranged for a GW to be there. Was noon on Saturday so we had a full crowd, and the other club showed up with THREE pickups of hunters! The GW arrived on time and I was glad, there was a LOT of tension in the air.Our meeting was at a picnic table away from everybody else. It was a come to Jesus meeting, anything less would have been disastrous. The shooter apologized and explained why he had done it. He offered to pay for the dog, whatever the owner asked (later told me he had a $1000 in his pocket). I vouched for the shooter but not his shooting and told the group his future was uncertain with the club. I think our sincerity and his won them over and we had a good meeting. The owner asked for $200.The GW never said a word until the end and asked if everybody was satisfied. After the meeting we discovered our guys were talking up a joint dog hunt at an announced time and we all got on board with it. Actually had two joint hunts with them. Our club member? Board put him on probation and he paid a $250 fine . Never another problem from him.!!

You talking about gary?

A co-worker went hunting. Came back to work telling his story. We got to askin him questions....found out he was walking around a green field and a turkey flew up in front of him. He shot a couple times but missed it. He said it was a hen! He had no idea he couldnt shoot a hen. He was gonna go check it in at the wma check in station if he would have killed it!

I know one just like him fred. 15 is a slow season. They get on a roll and kill one everyday for a week or two and before you know it they rack em up. But, I guess it makes up for the 1-2 a year guys like me.

I’d believe someone killed that many shooting them over bait but not actually hunting them.

he didn't hunt over bait and I promise ya he killed 15-+ EVERY season. Killing 3-4 in one morning was common. Kill one hang it, go to the next bird ya heard, kill it, hang it, repeat.

And if 3 gobblers come in together they kill all 3 of them.

There used to be extended families in my area who all killed double digits every season. I don't get to talk with them much these days, but I doubt they have slowed down.

That is guaranteed!!! He is looking for his keys, car or phone right now.

Get all jealous about the pinhoti project.

Pcp you probably know some people I grew up hunting around from alex city. I know of several that kill 15-30 a year. I stopped to talk to a friend several years ago maybe 2 weeks into season. We were talking and another guy I knew showed up and asked him if he wanted a turkey. He grabbed it out cut the beard off and left the spurs just a normal 2yr old. I asked my buddy after he left if he just didn’t eat turkeys or what. He said yes he did but was probably already up to 8-10 birds for the season. Said he called up 4 opening morning and killed 3 with one shot and the fourth before he got away.

Nah man we talking about turkey killers here. No bait just hear a turkey gobble and they kill em. Not necessarily on their property but close most of the time. I have known the one I know for 20 years and I have never known him to kill fewer than 10 in alabama. Now days if I talk to him I just say can I still hunt or have you killed my limit already. Most of the time he laughs and says you still got 1 or two of your limit left but you may want to hunt tomorrow. One time he told me he would not kill 4 at a time anymore cause it was so much work to carry out and after he loaded number 3 he went back for number 4 and it was gone. He tracked it down and re killed it.

me too

Hunters (My BIL) that use climbers without a harness.

I took my 13 year old nephew turkey hunting. Long morning of messing with henned up gobblers. I had been saving a gobbler at another location for either my son or my nephew. So we take off and set up decoys. I called a couple of times just for fun but knew this bird would see the strutter decoy and come in. You could almost set your watch. He would hit the pasture around 10:30. So I just laid down and was going to take a nap. Figured the shot would wake me up. Haha. I hear the decoy being mauled and looked up just in time to see that my nephew was not paying attention as the gobbler runs into the woods. He said “Quick Uncle Wade, call him back so I can shoot, he was a big one”. I quickly told him that we could call until dark and he wouldn’t be back. But, he was right on being a big one. He had 1 1/4” spurs. Couldn’t get either kid back to that spot before the end of season so I sacrificed helped them out.

That used to be possible. Until every swinging dick in the state got a pocketful of mouth calls and an owl hooter, then started riding the roads and tromping through the woods.
Back in the 80s you could hear 6, 8, 10 gobblers at daybreak. Get on one, go eat breakfast, get on another one.

Haha... man I'm glad I'm not the only one

Great stories!!!

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bern in the woods, turkey hunting, with a shotgun in my hands, and had a gobbler fly over my head and I just stood and watched. Always made me feel very, very stupid.

"If" someone could do that, I have no problem with it. It's not like the turkey population is in any trouble there.

N2TURKEYS and LEFTHORN are not allowed to comment on this topic.

Took a buddy of mine turkey hunting outside of Demopolis. He'd never turkey hunted before. It was a slow morning so about 9:30 we were running and gunning with me cutting hard about every 350 yards or so trying to make one gobble. I hear a faint gobble off of our property about 400 yards. With nothing else more promising, I start working him. I give it a few minutes and he gobbles again closer. I tell my buddy he's coming and get him set up about 25 yards ahead of me at the head of a little hardwood draw that I figure the turkey is working up. He's right handed so he can also shoot back to his left for about 50 yards on an open hardwood flat.

I dont want to call too much so I'm scratching in the leaves and occasionally purring and clucking on a slate. 45 min goes by and he hasnt gobbled. I want to find out exactly where he so I yelp really softly. He gobbles directly in front of my buddy just out of sight in the draw and I swear that he parted my buddies hair, he was so close. Half a second later, he pops out of the draw in full strut, 15 yds in front of my buddy. I wait, and I wait, and I wait. Still no shot. The turkey stands in front of him at 15 yards for about 2-3 minutes then starts working his way onto the open hardwood flat. I cluck at him and stop him 25yds from my buddy, still no shot. I repeat that 2 more times, still no shot. This bird has been in slingshot range now for 5 min and is now getting nervous. He can see everything around and cant see a hen so he starts cranning his neck looking around, and starts putting. The jig is up. I'm pinned down but I'm not letting this turkey walk out of there after messing with him for that long so ease my gun up and get on him and tell my friend in a normal voice, "shoot him". Turkey throws his big white head straight up, I wait a half second for the shot that i know is coming....Still no shot so I hammer him at 47 yards.

My buddy jumps up and says "that was so cool. Why did you shoot him?" I said because he was getting ready to get out of dodge. I asked him why didnt you shoot, we're you blocked by trees, gun malfunction, asleep, what happened? He said, "Oh no, I saw him and had it on him the whole time but on TV, they make them strut and and gobble a whole bunch more than that, before they actually shoot them." I gently explained to him that this is Alabama and these birds aren't unhunted and stupid like the ones you see on TV and if you have a gobbler in range in Alabama, you pull the trigger as soon as you have a clean shot.

Got an ol' man stand when they first came out. I was used to the old ammacker and alumailite type stands that realy dug into the tree. I took it out of the box and said, what are all these stupid straps and buckles for on the arms? I dont need that crap flopping around making noise so I took them off and tossed them in the box. 2 days later I'm climbed 25' up a water oak with my bow and been sitting there for about 30 minutes. It is dead quiet. The next thing I know, my butt hits the bottom platform as the top portion falls straight down the tree until it hits the foot rest. I'm wadded into a ball sitting on the foot platform with the top down around my neck and somehow managed to keep ahlold of my bow. I was wearing a safety harness but to say that my butt was puckered up is an understatement.

I went back to the camp and read the instruction manual on the stand and quickly figured out what those straps and buckles were for and that they were actually pretty important and served a purpose.

Unreal. Anyone who goes out on their FIRST FREAKIN' HUNT and passes up a bird because it "didn't strut and gobble enough" need not ever be allowed in the woods during turkey season again. Lifetime banishment from Turkey Hunting. So let it be written, so let it be done.